“I have never desired to please the rabble.”Written from the simple wish of the writer.
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
I still love you
You could be married with the person
you love now or someone else.
There are millions of things
we don't know about life.
But just being honest with you
There's one thing I know much about
and that is...
I love you still.
And I don't want to let you go.
it's all mine to overcome it
no matter how hard I try.
I guess I need to learn
how to let go the person
when he loves someone else more.
Although I can't change the situation
it's all mine to overcome it.
Just like holding an umbrella
when it rains hard.
I got to learn to be wet and be cold.
Just one last chance to have you back
You were always on my side
whenever I was in trouble.
And I appreciated you for
becoming part of my family.
In my last vacation,
I thought about you a lot.
But there was nobody to talk
about my problems.
I may sound strange but
I thought that if there's one person
who can understand me in this world,
it would be you.
You're the only one
who'll be on my side
no matter what happen.
And speaking of sides,
you're the only one left on my side.
But how could you...
How could you do this to me?
You left me behind
with that woman you called love.
Now I'm alone.
Okay, so you must have loved each other.
But don't I have the right chance?
Just one last chance to have you back?
For I can't just leave you
when I see your life falling apart.
Please tell me my love
you sent for special days
Oh how could I not recognize that
it meant nothing?
What do you do when you face
a reality you can't take?
If you know about it,
please tell me what to do my love.
Now that I know
there's someone else in your heart
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
The unforgettable night
do you remember the night
under that beaming moon
where the stars hid their lights
ashamed to see a brighter love
that holds each others hands
Woman:
of course, my love
how can i ever forget
a sapphire breezy night in the balcony
on fire with love
holding the hands of a man
filled with love and desire
Man & Woman:
That night was unforgettable
Happy Birthday!
I've taken up martial arts
so i can be with you.
You said you gain more weight
than the year before.
But I think
I've grown to love you more.
Yes, I promise
to love you more next year.
I suppose, you no longer
notice me these days.
But that's alright.
I like the closeness we have.
Remember, I'll always be here
to wish you Happy Birthday!
numb
till my fingers went numb
just to finish a heart
that never feels a damn
a love that can never be
looking at you
while stepping on your shadow
and thought,
"This is where I want to be"
But that was also the time
when i realized that
a love like this can never be
for you don't have a space for me
there in your heart
a heart that always belongs
to someone else
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
it was my heart
Do you remember the day
you fell into the water
and almost drown?
It wasn't the apple
you got that day.
It was my heart.
Thank you!
For coming into my life
and visiting me home.
^*
that's why i'm back
the fruit trees bore fruit
i wanted to stay longer and
pick fruit and
sell it with you
Morning Glory
The morning glory or you?
I thought the morning glory was
the most beautiful before I met you.
I'm the morning glory
and you're a sunflower.
Can I dare love you?
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
my coffee
with my coffee?
like my coffee
you gave me
diverse sensation
creamy jokes
that flatters me
sweet advices
that i can't help but listen
bitter stories
that made me tears
hands, hugs and kisses
that warmed me from my coldest days
if you were my coffee
i wish to have you all day
what a feeling
please tell me
why do i suffer this way
sweaty palms,
jumpy stomach,
thumping heart,
and nervous jitters
am i now dosed with PEA?
why am i on
kick-up-your-heels
on-top-of-the-world feeling
every time you're with me?
is this an indication
that i am attracted to you?
please no,
please yes
just i wish
it's a plain
emotional tention
room
you teach me lessons
you never cease to introduce
the nature of this life
why now and not before
where my brain has still
the room for that education
the question
why i was staring at you
if you only knew the truth
and what's deep within
I could have told you that
i wish to memorize the man
that never exists in my brain
cease
because i have you as my other leaf
that made me cease chasing
after the luck that never interests me
Monday, November 15, 2010
Fall with her
When your lover fell
You may think, to give her hand
and let her stand will help her.
You're absolutely right.
But I tell you, there's better than that,
And that is to fall with her
and see her eye to eye.
Friday, November 12, 2010
Dayie
pure coffee
but this is better than the sweetened one
it won't make you diabetic
and since you're without
so there's no complications, no problem
no suffering
so endure the coffee
pure, bitter, unsweetened
as long as it won't put your life an end
closet
in the closet?
where it's
dark and stuffy
only clothes
are to be found
why not
go out?
find the one
that wears them
Thursday, November 11, 2010
oasis in the desert
wanted to close eyes
and take a rest
you asked me
to give you a break
and revived
then i hand you
a cup of coffee
to refresh
with open hands
you received it
you're delighted
as you placed it
to your dried lips
and quenched
telling me
as you finish it
all the way down
you said
you've found
an oasis in the desert
never
on the first place you're nothing
not important,
and i don't want to pretend
but it's sad to hear that
every afternoon
i'm waiting for you
to come by
and sit in
to talk about life
but now
have to say goodbye
and never again will
i answer you
never
stay away
don't look
never call me
i don't want you
for i'm not a help
i am a disaster
can't fall on me
so please don't dream
i'm nothing
i don't want you
is there anything
i can do to forget me?
if you desire
come kill me
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
i'm falling
don't want it again
this has been forgotten
but this heart is pounding hard
whenever i see you
the joke, the teasing
the crazy moments we share
never denies the fact
that you turn me on
and now the fire seems
to burn and kill me
no matter how much i wanted it to die
i'm now falling for you
poison
stop flattering me
i know myself
better than you
i don't need your complement
they will not do anything with me
i have enough confidence
even in your absence
and beside i know
they're just plain lip service
part of the plot
a poison when i drink it
the other woman
stop insisting, i am not
and i will never be your woman
i tried to sympathize
and be on your shoes
but this life and time is not ours
i wish to embrace the challenge
but i can't swallow the fact
that if ever it will happen
i will just be your other woman
faculties unable
i'm blur, everything is pale
i don't want to see
undiscerning
so quiet,
i'm stuffy,
calm, tranquil
my day is numb
couldn't feel anything
i wonder
if i can still stand a day
without my perception
my faculties unable
only with you
i will be stable
Monday, November 8, 2010
i hate him, calling me honey
who is collecting women
he desired to gather them all
wrapped them in his arms
and call them his own
he tried to call each of them
his babe, his honey,
his sweetheart
wishing they'll all be pleased
and they'll fell lucky to have him
but not i,
for that made me disagree
i hate him calling me, honey
Sunday, November 7, 2010
the acacia tree with a thousand fireflies
for seven hours in a long road
with his rented green motorcycle
he was brave enough to maneuver
an unknown road who's leading him
to see the light in the darkness
he closes his eyes to feel
the real touch of the wind
rushing to his sensitive brown skin
he hears the real singing
of crickets and frogs croaking
natures voice of tranquility
a joy in his heart he possess
in that moment seeing
the end of the darken road
held a huge acacia tree
lighted by nature--
with a thousand fireflies
he wishes to capture
but couldn't
The man brilliant as his name is
born short, small, and brown
he is scared when he came
with written confusion on his face
he thought to be alone
with no one to turn to
he's seeking for the truth
tries as hard a he can
just to follow the road
and in simplicity of the children
he found the genuine smile
of contentment
and thought he is more blessed
in knowing shorter people,
big unhealthy
black and white but not happy
and realize, that he is
the masterpiece of nature
brilliant and sparkling
never afraid to be broken
as he is named Shin
never wish to be a bonsai
alone, scared and cowardly
i suppose everyone
has their own experience
tend to hide
to a safer place; protected
but never bloom
to its fullest
like a tied bonsai
planted in a limited space
an art they say
but i disagree
i still want to be free
to naturally grow in the wild
harmful it may be
but i'm not scared
this surely make me smile
to every sprout i made
i stretch my faith
as time mend my broken heart
goodbye
and humbly offer a hand
to apply that lotion;
a potion that moisturize
that once a dry feeling
we used to share
it made me tears
but it's somehow late
to cure our marriage
it's cracked and in pieces
the cure wasn't enough
to put as back again
sad but willing to accept
the fate we happily end
i promise i will never regret
time was not on our side
it's but goodbye
that we hate to embrace
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Marriage
it's more than emanation
and between couple
talking and giving opinions;
sharing dreams and hopes
are as important as coition
i swear, i'm happy and
that i don't need to mention
i'm yours and i will be
but please listen to me
i need your ears
i need your sympathy
and together we'll share
the pains, the turmoils
your sorrows, i will borrow
i'll understand the ABC's
i'll sing in your tune
i'll be bold and never lie
i'll promise we'll share a cry
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
November Morning
that passes by in the air
to every human beings
turns their hearts to feel
romances of gray skies
hard rains in the morning
soft wind that touches skin
wet roads of destination
the month of November
makes me remember
the days we were together
in the grass sitting along the river
watching the the water
running over the river bed
the fantasy the dream of every girl
to stay beside you
in this unforgettable
one breezy November morning
my portrait
in making portraits
of myself in a poem
but this is the only way
i can remember the days
of my "pains and passions"
for i wish to see the end
with the power of colors
and the strength of love
words written in shapes
curves are touched
as fragrances scented
mold me in your brain
make me your own
i'll promise to stay still
Up there we climb
with your eyes closed
but feelings are better felt
when you didn't see a light
like the wind that blows
in the middle of the night
and the heat from the couch
pinch a bit but not to hurt
i wish to know you more
when i'm the one in control
i wish you moan like the wind
i wish you climb up the cliff
and sweat as we get closer
on top we will hold hands together
closed eyes, open ears
and with your whisper
i live and lift my spirit up
in the seventh heaven
where i wish to stay still
but can't be...
only in my memory
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
I prefer for the Joy than Luck
we look for the LUCK
which is out there...
oh, so hard to find.
Forgetting the JOY
that we normally wear
everyday...
oh, stupid are we
to be called geniuses...
I'd rather be
dumb and happy
than gifted of high intellect
but heavyhearted...
The real beauty of a maze
there was this woman
who ran towards the end
around the maze
and took the tour puzzle
in Jeju island
to see for herself
how she can get out
from the labyrinth
without a doubt
she was caught
by her own confusion
since that pathways
have its twists and turns
and to navigate is difficult
as it is bewilderment itself
the confusing network
of intercommunicating paths
pushed and strengthen her
to see the way clearly
as the walls and paths
can change during the game
where the real beauty
of a maze can be found
ironically without our knowing
hcalumarde:)
The four-leaf clover
my first note is written
for the woman holding
a four-leaf clover
so eager to kneel down
and search hard for hours
for serendipity and fortune
ignoring everything
putting aside the others
just to earn the promise
happy as she can be
as she found the only,
the rarest, the luck
wearing a smile
from ear to ear
she never realizes
the normal, ordinary
three-leaf clover
she dumped over
is the happiness
that surrounds her
which we also tend to forget
Monday, November 1, 2010
a milk fish relleno
warm me more i'm here
storm me strong; i beg you
rain me hard; it will be a pleasure
but i'm sure you can't
because you're there
and i'm just right here
we're distant, we're far off
i'm young and you're old
oh wrong,
you're young and i'm old
i'm sweet and you're sour
i wish to devour you;
and shallow you
i'll engulf you
like you're without bones
a milk fish relleno
hmmm...yummy~
An Old Hand
all sorts of words
pugnacious,
genius like Mozart
everything's a piece of cake
tracing lines and colors
you delineate like the artists
Leonardo and Micheal Angelo
there's nothing you can't do
all is possible with your fingers
long, short, wide, narrow
true, lie they're products
of your experience
you're an old hand
i salute you
Sunday, October 31, 2010
solitude
hair soaked wet from shower
desired to freshen up once thinking
sat down in front of the computer
then trying to cross the legs
moving its finger with the keys
building words from fantasy
desired to cure the solitude
that's teasing since yesterday
the woman--confused
and it's love that made her bewildered,
stupefied hiding its secret unknowingly
the world has seen it as it is curved
in her face so full of apprehensions,
questions about the uncertainty
of this life she called confusion
cycle of life
about that grievous trouble?
that tribulation, the misfortune?
were the road is leading me
no i will not, but i will about hope
for i will recover; that, i desire
there is no such thing as forever pain
for life is a cycle, it circles round
like a train, it may stop every station
and susceptibilities are in all sort
as we go along with our drive
here, in this cycle of life
Saturday, October 30, 2010
the story about love
sa duha ka gugma nga andam mudawat
sa kaparutan sa ilang kaugmaon
ug sa walay duha duha mapahiyumon
----------------------------------------------------------
I wish to write about the meeting
of two lovers who are willing to accept
the misfortune of their future
and without a doubt their smiling
hcalumarde:)
in the future
uban ko ikaw sa walay katapusang kalipay
atong saw-an ang katam-is
nga ikaw ug ako ang magdimdim
----------------------------------------------------------
there in our next meeting
i'll be with you in the never ending joy
and together we share the sweetness
that you and i will savor
hcalumarde:)
the happy ending
dili kini ang panamilit
dinhi lang ako maghulat kanimo
pahiran ko ang akong mga luha
ug dili ko ikaw kamingawan
ako kanang ipasalig kanimo
----------------------------------------------------------
this is not the end
this is not the goodbye
here i'll wait for you
i'll wipe all my tears
and i will never miss you
that i can assure you
hcalumarde:)
Friday, October 29, 2010
i wish
vacate and left my heart empty
now i'm inside this abyss
i couldn't decide
i'm in solitude,
i find myself deserted
i wish a gorge of love
flows over me
i'm hopeful
i'm not yet in despair
someday
i'll gain back my risibility
early morning blues
with no sun to avail
and the clouds are still sleepy
to unveil the new page of another day
agitated, in the sense of trepidation,
i have lots of apprehensions
i desired a fight
even without their recognition
i wish to calm down
be contented
and embrace happiness
before the day could end
phlegmatic
drowsy eyes
lethargic as i am
i feel lazy
i am phlegmatic
i wish i'm with him
to be stormed
as i put on the sash
the storm window
that can swing me away
with no annoyance
from my mind
i decline
with you
but i will write
as much as i can
here in my heart
you'll never be forgotten
since life is a work of art
i hereby sketch you
in words that i know
i will make you alive
that even in your absence
i'll still be standing here
to see and embrace
the past that i spent
with you
Journey with Lucy
the imperceptible light of the candle
blackout must have taken away
the light that we borrowed to see
insufficient oxygen
for us to inhale
determination moved us
to travel along with the past
the ten-day journey
the recollection
the walk, the climb
the talk, the laughter
on foot we go
back to our memories
that has lead us to know
what has happened
and what is coming
this life may bring us
someday in the future
the journey with Lucy
thus taken only
in the classroom with me.
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
they didn't know it's real meaning
what more do they know of me?
what else do they want from me?
isn't it me who knows what is best?
isn't it me who can tell how i really feel?
yes, i feel disappointed, frustrated
i resented why they judge me more
and not knowing me instead
i could have been open to them
i could have told them
that i need understanding
than the judgments
they throw against me
how sure are they to know?
that i doubted and i regretted
from the fact that
they didn't know its real meaning
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Lucy
you who belong to sky of diamonds
that made you as brilliant
as it is -- you are
who embrace the darkness
you encounter
and savor the pain you undergo
in your journey
they all made you stronger
and bring you to light
as i am now looking up to you
how can i be like you--strong, tough
and never fail to adjust
at whatever changes may come
wonderful Lucy like diamonds
polished by the past
and by the nature of time
that desired to tear you apart
but never succeeded
for you're unbreakable
i am dazzled
the seed
enough to carry a nest
of birds that may fly
beyond the clouds
while you and I
sit down at its foot
of the former
grain that we planted
our hairs maybe white
but our love is never fading
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Should I?
should i ask you to love me?
what should be the right thing to say?
yes, i want you near me
for my life is hell
without you loving me
memories i dreamed about
the kisses, the hugs
and the teasing we've made
in the bed we call our own heaven
but now it's fading--
you hardly see me and my cravings
now i'm lost without the caresses
and the romances once told to be ours
hopeful we have the old pages again
and read the thrilling words
of "i love yous"
that makes me warmer
while we're on our way
but those...
will just be memories
i dreamed about
Monday, October 18, 2010
The wicked witch
when he desired to catch the silver shoes
but never did he succeeded
when the girl turned toward her
and pour down the water
he never expected to be the answer.
Poor witch,
now he's just a memory.
He's just melted away with
his greed and avidity
for power to procure the girl
he longed to have as his possession.
Morning Blues
cool thinking
collecting memories
from the dreams
i had in my sleep
cool beginning
a terror in the end
just like the rain
that falls simultaneously
with my tears
hardly recognized
deceived by the smile
my face is wearing.
Monday, June 21, 2010
No words
I can't dare tell you honestly
I wish I had the courage
I wish I had the words
I hate but I'm scared
My heart has felt the worst
I swear I never hurt anyone
I used to be
Now I regretted.